In an iconic Mega Blast Ca$h Extraction I effortlessly took $$ 20 GRAND $$ out of My Drunky Monkey Eric in just over an hour. Yes, you read that right, 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS in just over an hour.
And here’s how the DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC story BEGINS.. (read further to read ALL the SCANDALOUS details of the MEGA BLAST CA$H EXTRACTION!)
drunky monkey eric loves to drink lots of gin and chase it with beer, then I love to let him open some of My mp3s and listen to them while he’s all drunk and stuff, and his mind is like a sponge! he is SO totally addicted now that he couldn’t even stop himself from calling Me from his friend’s house in SF while staying there overnight… LOL. he called after they went out drinking and his friend had passed out. I talked him into snagging his friends liquor and getting even more wasted!
My utmost favorite thing to do to him while he’s on the phone with Me is let him open tons of big fat $$ PAY TO VIEW $$ mails while he gets totally smashed for Me! YEAH! The other night he opened like over a $$ GRAND $$ worth of pay mails alone while he guzzled gin for Me on the phone! That is seriously SO MUCH FUN!!
drunky monkey eric has now spent like $$ 3 GRAND $$ on Me which is ONLY just the BEGINNING, because he totally can’t stop himself from opening every single pay mail I send to him, and I intend to send him LOTS & LOTS!! ahaha. After opening My latest mesmerizing mp3 he was in a crazed frenzy to call Me right away that very night. you are in luck DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC, I’ve been releasing lots of absolutely GORGEOUS files and will be releasing even MORE, so you are TOTALLY going to have SO MANY SPECTACULAR mails to open!! OMG start HERE! you NEED every fabulously expensive item in My CAPITALISTIC BLONDE COLLECTION!!
DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC gets his credit card company to RAISE HIS DAILY SPENDING LIMIT for ME
Kudos to DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC for calling his credit card company and getting them to raise his daily SPENDING limits for Me, after the last time he talked to Me he was LIMITED to only spending $$ 1300 DOLLARS $$ within a few mins, which was just NOT acceptable! How totally rude of his credit card company to impose such LIMITS on his ADDICTION! But not to worry, it’s all in order now, and are we EVER going to have SO MUCH FUN ringing it up!! YEAH! Start HERE drunky monkey eric!! Let’s find out just how high your SPENDING LIMIT will go now.. keep clicking til its TOTALLY MAXXED OUT!! $$$CHA-CHING!! I mean seriously. I like to take at LEAST 3-4 GRAND in a night out of him!
Remember how I told you that DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC called his credit card company and had them fix his pesky daily limit? Well in that same post I told him to start clicking $$$ and see how high he could charge his card up with the new limits. he totally could NOT resist My DEMAND, and started clicking on My ‘I SHOP YOU PAY’ link @ $200 DOLLARS a pop, OVER & OVER, spending a grand total of $$ 1500 DOLLARS $$ on Me in short order!! But that wasn’t enough..
Craving to spend EVEN MORE on Me, a few nights later he called totally WASTED, after drinking all night with his girlfriend, who was passed out right next to him. LMAO OMG it was SO FUNNY, I could hear her snoring, so loudly. drunky monkey started clicking pay buttons immediately, but unfortunately his dumdum girlfriend woke up, completely interrupting the ongoing transfer of funds from drunky monkeys credit card into MY account, which had only reached another $850 DOLLARS at that point. OMG the nerve!
I could totally hear her drunkenly slurring in the background, and drunky monkey trying to appease her while he continued trying to click pay buttons, but I am super impatient and he was totally NOT clicking fast enough. BLAH I was so bored I hung up on him. HA! OMG you totally OWE ME for that one, DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC! And I bet your card can go EVEN higher than 1500.00 in one shot!! What do you think?! Let’s give it another try.. OMG we are going to have SO MUCH FUN!! START HERE!! Don’t stop clicking til it’s TOTALLY MAXXED OUT!
DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC breaks up with his annoying girlfriend!
It turns out that DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC and his girlfriend broke up and now he has moved into another place, which of course is SO cool, because she WAS always being SO annoying, like waking up and interrupting the transfer of CA$H from DRUNKY MONKEY ERICS account into MINE, which is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. I’m SO pleased that she is GONE.. good riddance to bad rubbish! YAY!
he was TOTALLY WASTED when he called Me and being THE ultimate financial worship Princess I quickly rinsed nearly $$ 3 GRAND $$ out of him within just a few minutes, sending him EMPTY pay to view mails one after the other.. his FAVOURITE! LOL. Yes I AM *that* good.
I KNOW he is delirious for Thursday to roll around, because Thursday is his payday and he just LOVES to blow his ENTIRE paycheck on Me as soon as he gets paid.. SMARTY PANTS! Blowing your paycheck on ME is positively THE best use that can be made of your money! The fact that he blew through 3 GRAND is good news about his daily spending limits.. I think we should see if it can go even higher. $$$
MEGA BLAST CA$H EXTRACTION to the tune of $$ 20 GRAND $$ in just over an hour
DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC called My $50 DOLLAR a minute line and spent $$ 3+ GRAND $$in a night, and boy was that fun, but I decided it just totally wasn’t enough!! I came up with a FABULOUS idea that he should call his credit card company and tell them to lift his nightly cap so he could max his CC available balance on Me!! Like a smarty pants, he did just that, and OMG did that ever get the party started!!
I effortlessly took $$ 20 GRAND $$ out of him in just over an hour. Yes, you read that right, 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS in just over an hour.
Can you even imagine it? LMAO. OMG NF said they have NEVER seen SO MUCH MONEY in such a short amount of time, EVER. So yeah, what can I say, I *AM* the very definition of financial worship. I mean seriously, I don’t even try, I don’t need to lift a finger, you simply BEG to send Me 1000 DOLLAR tributes one after the other. OMG I LOVE being ME!!
btw DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC: I’m totally not done with your wallet, as I calculate you should still have another 5 grand or so on that card and I WANT IT. I won’t be satisfied until it’s TOTALLY MAXXED and you’re PAYING IT OFF to do it ALL OVER AGAIN!! OMG love it.
DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC called again on My $$ 50 DOLLAR a minute $$ Pristine Path to your Redemption line, spending $$ 2700 DOLLARS $$ on Me within minutes. OMG I just ADORE taking your CA$H so FAST it makes your HEAD SPIN! It’s a fact.. the MORE GREEDY I AM, the WEAKER it makes you.. and the MORE you CRAVECRAVECRAVE to blow ALL your money on ME as FAST as you CAN.
$$$ I effortlessly take EVERYTHING from you and leave you DELIRIOUS to get $$ MORE $$ for ME!
OMG you LOVE to indulge in THE Celebrity Money Goddess, financial worship Princess DIVINE, and pick up the tab for HER OPULENT REVELRY!!
As I stated on TWITTER:
“Possibly the greatest Dom Pérignon Rosé ever created, the newly released vintage sold out in less than an HOUR in the UK.. it seems incredibly difficult to find. However, I simply MUST-HAVE it for Valentines! And YOU will pay, of course, WHATEVER the price!”
And SO you did. My lucky little minions were sure to procure the highly coveted DOM PERIGNON ROSE for ME, and it was MINE and in My possession for Valentine’s Day as we all KNEW it would be.
I am SO GLORIOUSLY ADORABLE to allow you to SPOIL ME in this fashion. THANK ME NOW.
I had THE most FABULOUS Valentine’s Celebration. Completely PERFECT in every way. After Dinner & the Theater I sumptuously delighted in the newly released DOM PERIGNON ROSE, which is simply DIVINE, accompanying luxurious CALVISIUS Oscietra ROYAL CAVIAR served on My new MOTHER OF PEARL Petit Caviar Serving Sets ~ resting upon My Vera Wang Wedgwood Fine China, with 24kt GOLD Demitasse forks & spoons, and of COURSE, everything kissed with 24kt Edible GOLD!! YOU pay!
*“The 2002 Rosé explodes from the glass with endless layers of huge voluptuous fruit. Shaping up to be epic.” Lilting and luminous on the nose, assertive and creamy on the palate.*
Later in the evening, DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC was desperate to call and pay $50 DOLLARS a minute to proclaim his LOVE & UNDYING DEVOTION to ME. I giggled in DELIGHT as I disregarded his first call to The Pristine Path to your REDEMPTION, knowing that he would keep calling OVER & OVER for as long as I let him think there was any chance I might answer the phone.
Eventually I showered such BENEVOLENCE upon him as to condescend to pick up MY phone and SPEAK into the receiver, allowing him to quickly spend $$ 2700 DOLLARS $$ on Me in the span of LESS THAN HALF an hour. OMG I am TOO KIND to you ADDICTS!! Surely you do NOT deserve such MERCY, do you? BOW DOWN NOW before ME, UNREQUITED LOVE JUNKIE!!
Drunky Monkey Eric keeps coming back for MORE
DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC called Me on Tribute Tuesday at 50 DOLLARS per MINUTE and My MAGICK WHISPERS made him soooooooo WEAK he went straight to My “Goodies” page and began to CLICKITY CLICK *BUY NOW* over & over spending a $$ GRAND $$ on ME in just over 10 minutes.. yes that’s right ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS in just over 10 little minutes! LOVE it. I want MORE, DRUNKY MONKEY ERIC. $$ OMG you are CRAVING to CALL NOW and listen to My GORGEOUS GOLDEN VOICE as I RINSE YOUR WALLET!
Omg you are CRAVING to THANK ME PROFUSELY $$$ for the way I make your life WORTH LIVING. OMG I justify your existence. you OWE ME.
Further Reading: